Memo to Automakers Wagoner, Mulally & Nardelli: It's all about Perception

Of all the arrogant, crazy, mixed-up things we've ever seen in public relations, I think the behavior of the Big 3 Big Kahunas takes the cake. You don't have to be a PR genius to see the ginormous mistakes these three fellas made. Shame on the PR people who let these guys make them.

Here's what happened: Three business leaders came to Washington looking for a $25 billion bailout because, according to them, the country would not survive if these three American automakers didn't get the money.

Here's what we in the American public saw: Three obscenely well-paid CEO's flying to Washington in their private jets to ask for taxpayer money to bailout companies that they had driven, (pardon the pun), into bankruptcy, if not obsolescence. They had no plan. They had no vision of how they were going to make changes and turn their companies around. They had no way to promise that this would not happen again. No, they just put a big ol' hand out for a big ol' handout. And used the same mantra of extortion that Wall Street used: If you don't bail us out, the economy will collapse and millions of people will lose their jobs.

Now I don't know if it's the right thing to bail out the auto industry or not. There are plenty of smart economic brains out there to debate that concept, and I'm not one of them. But I do know Public Relations, and something this big needs the American public behind it, especially after we just spent $700 billion bailing Wall Street out and pretty much have seen no results from that. How these three CEO's have acted is a classic teachable moment. They've practically written the curriculum for the class on how to alienate the American public by their actions.

Here's what I would have told these guys if they had been my clients:

1. You Don't Fly Anywhere in Private Jets

Okay, look -- If you're trying to tell us that you just need taxpayer money to bridge the gap, and that you are actively working on digging the car companies out of the hole they are in, they you have to start the cutbacks with you. How can we possibly believe that you know how to streamline and cost-cut if you can't even see your own extravagance?

Rick Newman from US News and World Report puts it this way: "If you're asking for the people's money, you should be using the people's transportation."

According to Brian Ross and Joseph Rhee from ABC news, "Wagoner's private jet trip to Washington cost his ailing company an estimated $20,000 roundtrip. In comparison, seats on Northwest Airlines flight 2364 from Detroit to Washington were going online for $288 coach and $837 first class."

Doesn't matter what your reasons are for taking a private plane, no reason makes sense from a PR standpoint. Fire the consultant who didn't stop you from getting on that plane.

2. You Give Back Your Salary

You cannot tell me that the $25-$28 million a year that you each have been getting in pay and perks over the last few years is not enough to sustain you for the period of time it will take to turn these companies around. If you are really serious about making changes and effecting cutbacks, again, start with yourself. You say that a turn-around will be painful in these economic times, then be the first one in line to take some of the pain. It is obscene for you to come to Washington asking for taxpayer money when your paycheck is so high.

Our perception? If you were so good at what you did that you deserved $25M/year, then you wouldn't be in Washington asking for a handout. Fire the consultant who didn't advise you to stop taking a paycheck.

3. You Gather Up All the Leaders of Industry and Ask for Their Advice

Your company is in trouble. We want to know that you have exhausted all your possible resources before you come to the American taxpayer for a loan. Have you? We see no proof of that. We see business as usual and the same mismanagement that has gone on for years, if not decades. So call up all the smartest guys and gals you know and ask them for their advice. And then tell us you have done that so we have some security in knowing that the smartest brains around helped you come up with a plan.

Oh crap. A Plan! Which brings me to my next point.


4. You Come with a Plan for How the Bailout Will Allow You to Turn the Company Around.

Okay, this is where you need to fire not only your PR people, but your entire financial and operations management team. Who goes to the bank to ask for a loan without a business and marketing plan? You should have slid under the hearings table when the committee asked how you planned to turn the company around and what your plans were for the money.

This kinda goes back to point number two -- what are you doing for that $25M/year? You don't know that you need a plan? Or you are just too arrogant to think you need to share it with the people who are loaning you the money?

See, this point alone is why your PR people should be fired post-haste. You don't even have to be in public relations to see the problem of not having a plan. One of the Huffington Post readers said it nicely in a comment to another post. JScott wrote: "Do you even know how to put together a PowerPoint presentation... I mean really -- I just went to the LA Auto Show and their full legion of new car puffery was there. If they [had] spent [at] least as much time on a decent presentation to Congress they just might have had the check in hand by now."

Fire the entire PR firm that let you walk into that hearings room without a well-articulated plan on what you will do to turn the company around, and how the taxpayer money will help make that happen.


Now, there are plenty of other things you three guys could do to win over our confidence and get us on your side to back a bailout plan. But these first mistakes are so significant, it will be extremely difficult to win us over, if you can at all.

So fellas, here's your first move: Fire the PR people. And feel free to email me for more ideas. Heck, in the spirit of showing you guys how it's done, I'll even consult for free. But only after you stop taking a paycheck.

To make it easier on the Big 3 Big Kahunas, Pam Atherton can be reached at Pam @ ACloserLookRadio.com

I Love LA!

Who wouldn't love it? Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson and a Disney Princess, all mingling about with the tourists at Grauman's Chinese. A a chili-burger at the Original Tommy's (at Beverly and Rampart). The best reuben, EVER, at Canter's, along with a fabulous story about pickles, the basement and smoking dope from the waiter. Searching for Paul Mazursky at the Farmer's Market and seeing Illiana Douglas instead. The biggest damn Book Expo ever!! Oh... and being live on KABC radio. I LOVE L.A.!!!!

It was a jolly good time for producer Darlene, Publisher Nicholas Beatty and me as we took in the sights of LA whilst participating in the largest Book Expo in North America . We spent nights at the Royal Pagoda Motel (2 blocks from the entrance to Chinatown, and thank goodness for the HUGE walk-in closet), and days at the 810,000 square foot LA convention center along with 49,997 other people. So much excitement, so many great experiences!

Nicholas had been to LA several times, but this time was the first for Darlene. And of course I was born and raised in SoCal, and worked at KHJ in LA, so this was like coming home for me. A home that had been reconstructed and refurbished in my absence... but it was home nonetheless.

Darlene and I drove from New Mexico (altho truth be known, she did all the highway driving). We had lunch with my father at El Cielito Lindo restaurant, where the highways collide in S. El Monte. This restaurant is famous for the mariachi groups who perform there, including the only all-female mariachi group. Originally, however, the restaurant was called the Jolly Jug, and our family spent many a Friday night there eating pastramis and reubens, with bowls and bowls of soft pickles served by Linda, the best waitress ever. I've never had pickles like them since. Even at Canters. But then, Canter's pickles have their own notoriety.

Most people who come to the Book Expo stay in high rise hotels near the site of the expo. Except if you decide to go at too late of a date to get a reservation at one of them. And too late would be anything more recent than 6 months prior to the event. We decided to go five days prior.

Since we were driving, we had a little more flexibility in where we decided to stay. But I wanted Darlene's trip to be a memorable one, so when I saw the Royal Pagoda Motel getting good reviews at Hotels.com... and the price was right... I went for it. How can you not love a clean motel, 2 blocks from Chinatown?? And besides, Miss Universe 1965 stayed there, and beautiful Chinese starlet Josephine Siao was also a visitor.

Of course the fact that no one there spoke English only added to the charm. (Well, that's not exactly right. There are about 4 or 5 guys who seem to own the place, and they spoke in varying levels of English.) Dapper James was there when we checked in. I never learned the names of any of the others, but Mr. Smokes (because I never saw him without a cigarette) was the one who navigated me in to the tight parking spaces and lent me the iron (with a $10 deposit because everyone kept taking the irons with them when they left).

The room had an air conditioner that never shut off (except at the plug) and a closet the size of my house. And it was two blocks from Chinatown. Have I mentioned that?

Chinatown seems to be going through death, or rebirth, I haven't decided which. A lot of the shops were closing and it didn't look as though new ones were coming in. The Wonder Bakery is still a wonder, and the shops with their close aisles are still jam-packed with buddhas, fans, scarves, ivory and jade earrings and lots and lots of stuff you just don't need. But you buy anyway.

We chose Hop Louie's for dinner the first night, and several nights after. It's a landmark at Chinatown, with it's formal upstairs dining room and the look of every 1950's B detective movie in the downstairs bar. I could almost hear the bad dialogue. The food was fresh and plentiful, and Lilly the waitress was friendly and funny. And best of all, it was only two blocks from the Royal Pagoda.

Part two of the Book Expo Adventure in the next post.

Ciao bella for now,

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Road Trip to Book Expo!

It's that time again... Book Expo! You remember Book Expo! It's where about 50,000 people get together to talk books. Publishers, Librarians, Authors, Booksellers... they're all there.

Last year we introduced you to Dark Horse out of Portland, the third largest publisher of comics in the United States. Yes, they publish comic books like HellBoy and Buffy and Conan and Emily the Strange. But they also publish books, have action figures, journals, lunch boxes and all sorts of cool gear. Domo stuff and Tim Burton stuff and Emily the Strange stamp of Disapproval sets. Dark Horse was one of my favorite booths last year. (for more, go to www.DarkHorse.com)

We also introduced you to Nick Katsoris and Loukoumi. Nick is the author of the delightful children's books that follow the adventures of a little Greek sheep. Nick also created the Dream Day contest, where 3 children wrote about what their dream day would be. The winners were just announced. Nine-year-old Sophie wants to be a space engineer, so she is spending the week-end (Memorial Day) in Pasadena, watching the Phoenix land on Mars!! Eight-year-old Lionel will spend the day at Giant Stadium with the New York Red Bulls. Can you tell he wants to be a soccer player? And Nika, from Colorado, wants to be a TV chef. So she'll go to New York to cook on air as well as watch a taping of Rachel Ray, and actually meet her.

The book, named one of the best products of 2007 by iParenting Media, teaches children they can be anything when they grow up, if they work hard and believe in themselves. Check your local bookstore or Amazon.com to find out more.

And who could forget Carol and Phil White? They took us on the Road Trip of our Dreams! This vagabond couple convinced us that we could go traveling for the same price as staying at home. Now in its second printing, their book "Live Your Road Trip Dream" is a wealth of information on how to get on the road... from the first glimmer of an idea, to dealing with issues on the road. Plus, their website is jam-packed with worksheets and resources and tips and information. Go here www.RoadTripDream.com for more.

So who will we introduce you to this year? Hard to say. But with a zillion exhibits, half a zillion authors and interesting people galore, you know we'll all be in for a treat. This year the Expo is being held in Los Angeles and Producer Darlene Cunningham will be along. She'll be blogging on our MySpace page with Photographer Nicholas Beatty capturing it all on film.

Plus, our good friend Dr. Susan has a book up for a Foreward award this year. You can bet we'll be at the ceremonies, cheering for Dr. Susan's Kid's-Only Weight Loss Guide.

Join us for OUR road trip adventure!

Ciao!

Come to my Cafe... in Bosnia Herzegovina!

Hurray! I'm now an investor in a lovely cafe in Vitez. So you need not take out your encyclopedia brittanica, or mapquest the address... it's located in Sarajevo,Bosnia and Herzegovina.

The owner of the Cafe is a lovely woman named Ajida Bengir, and it looks as though she serves a healthy variety of alcoholic spirits. I can't wait to visit!!

It's part of my commitment to invest every month in microloans through Kiva.org. Last month I became a Ugandan Piggery investor. This month I'm moving up the food chain to investment in a business that actually serves the food after it's raised.

You, too, can be a microloan investor. Go to www.Kiva.org. It feels good.

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Ciao, Bella
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Things that make me laugh!

Oh golly... if you don't go to www.ICanHasCheezburger.com every day, then you're missing out on some of the funniest stuff to hit the internet. Its subtitle is lolcats... meaning, of course... laugh out loud cats. And indeed, if you don't laugh out loud, you are an old, embittered excuse for a human. Some background - Somebody stole the Walrus' bucket and he is forever in seach of it. And the title of the site refers to a photo of a cat, asking (or perhaps, demanding) a cheeseburger. Click on over when you're done with this and you'll see what I mean. (and go even if you don't like cats. You'll still laugh)

What else makes me laugh? Googling images of myself and finding a 17-year-old lad in Liverpool who may or may not have a mother named Pam Atherton, but definitely has friends who speak a text language of their own. That my-space site has added to my vocabulary... "ya dirty ticket" .. "Your fizzy willie's broke" ... and "your nan on toast." My best research shows that "dirty ticket" is basically another way to say "cheap bastard." I don't think I can tell you what a fizzy willie is; I might get censored. But "your nan on toast" is the equivalent of responding to an insult such as we might say "your mother." And the more you add to the toast, the nastier your comment is. For example... "your nan on toast with cheese sauce and tomatoes." Well, now, thems fighting words. :)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=189948796

And finally, finding a review of a movie I was in in the '90's gave me a chuckle. Why? Well, it was an Italian film, filmed entirely in Italian, and the review is on yahoo.it. In Italian. I can't read the damn thing, but they spelled my name correctly. See if you can read it. And no fair cheating and getting it translated.

http://it.movies.yahoo.com/s/sognando-la-california/index-352406.html

Hope you get a lot of laughs!

Ciao, Bella!

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I remember these....

The New York Times had an article this morning about how bridesmaid dresses are catching up with the runway and getting away from the frill, chills and spills of the past. You remember... the pink taffeta dress with the poofy sleeves. The way-too-tight I-need-a-tummy-tuck rayon jersey knee-length dress in emerald green. The strapless wonder that reminded the world that you had no boobs. All dresses, your friend the bride reminded you, that could be worn again in the real world. Yeah, right.

Now you can relive those dresses, and many more disasters, at a site called www.uglydress.com. The site comes complete with commentary and is sponsored by bachelorette.com. (Whoever they are.)

Still... I must confess... I wouldn't mind having a "Gone With The Wind" wedding or bridesmaid dress. I still like shoulder pads (all women should. Have you seen how droopy most women look?) And red velvet at a Christmas wedding with a white muff instead of flowers still appeals to me.

As for my daughter... when she gets married... there is no doubt in my mind that this will be the dress she chooses. Sadly, it is also featured on uglydress.com

Well... ugly is in the eye of the beholder. I would, however, have to draw the line at her wearing the white sequin Minnie Mouse ears with the dress. You have to have SOME set of standards.

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Ciao Bella!

I am officially a Bacon Banker!

What a wonderful holiday season! I hope you got everything you asked for. Other than world peace, I did.

I've gotten some pretty wonderful gifts over the years. (My all-time favorite is the electric pencil sharpener that I got for Mother's Day a few years back). But for this year, my most favoritest, fabulous, wonderful gift of all was from my daughter. She had heard me talk about micro-loans for years, and how I wished I could participate. But, not being a financial institution, and knowing nothing about how these things work in foreign countries, it seemed I was to be denied.

HAH! The power of the internet! My daughter found Kiva.org. They are an organization that lets everyday people like you and me participate in micro-loans. In $25 increments, we can invest in any of a number of businesses throughout the world. With the gift certificate from my daughter, I invested in an entrepreneur group in Uganda. They raise chickens and pigs, and needed the money for more pigs.

(click here to read about my group) http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=29310



I can see how one can get addicted to this! It's interesting to read about the different people and groups and what they hope to accomplish. It's also a sobering reminder of how much we accumulate and consume here in America. We've been working on simplifying in our household.

I mean, how much do we really need, anyway?? All my friends are going to get gift certificates for their birthdays and special days.

And I am going to proudly proclaim that I am an investor in a Ugandan piggery. I intend upon investing every month... so watch for more updates!

Invest!


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